SAYING GOODBYE TO OUR LOVED ONES
“The loss of a brother or sister is not small, unimportant, or invisible. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I call sibling loss ‘the loss of a lifetime,’ because who else do we expect to have relationships with that stretch our entire lives?” -Lynn Shattuck
I wasn’t going to write an angel message tonight. Not because I am angry at the angels or God but because I am extremely sad. As I have chosen to share all of my journey out loud, here is what happened to bring me to this state of grief. Around 9 pm tonight, I had just pulled off the interstate after a long 7-hour drive. As soon as I parked the car, my phone rang, and it was my little brother. He was calling to let me know that my sister, Loretta, had just passed. I was so glad that I was not driving that I had a moment to breathe in his words, and still, the reality didn’t hit me until we hung up. We were expecting the news, but here’s the thing: even when you know for certain that a loved one is transitioning from their physical body, nothing can prepare you for the gut punch that comes when you hear the words that it happened. Nothing. I am trained as a grief counselor as well as a death doula. None of that matters when it is a loved one. My sister is older than me, so I have known her all my life. She was humble, loving, funny, loyal, compassionate, and very beautiful inside and out. Dementia stole her from us years ago. I caught her on a good day the last time I saw her. She knew who I was, and we shared a very precious loving moment. My niece captured it in a photo which I will always cherish. I know that my sister is finally free from the bonds of this horrible disease, but even that does not make it easier to handle the loss.
Dear Angels, letting go of our loved ones, even when it is in their best and highest good to be freed from their bonds, is one of the hardest experiences we face as humans. I found myself feeling guilty for my feelings tonight. I felt greedy in wanting more time for my sister to be with us. Then, a peace came over me as I was reminded that she had been in a state of existence for years and had no quality of life. Not that this made it better, but it just made sense that she would choose to move into a higher state where she could be at peace. So many times we think our egoic thoughts without looking at how our loved one is affected and what their choices are. I went through this same struggle decades ago when my dad was in a coma after a stroke. Do our loved ones “hang on” when they are at the end of their human life because they don’t want to leave those they are closest to, or do we keep them on earth with our desire to have them present physically? This is a question I have pondered many times over the years.
Dear Ones, the death experience, including the decision to let go at the end of your life, is something we are constantly asked about. You cannot hold another hostage in their physical body once it is in their Divine plan to move on to the spirit realm. Your love is felt by your loved one who is transitioning, even when they seem to be unable to hear or feel your presence. The best thing you can do is to send them on with all that love in your heart as if you were sending someone away on a long journey. Be happy for them that they are moving into a new dimension, a new adventure, and returning to their true state as a light being. Remember the words of the psalmist: “In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free.”
Dear Angels, thank you. I love you. Namaste, y’all.
Today, I promise to keep my focus on that which is for the best and highest good of all.
Teri Angel is a Happiness Coach, energy healer, best-selling author, spiritual teacher and mentor, and motivational speaker. Teri’s movement “Peas For Peace” involves strengthening our awareness of the oneness of all, unifying mankind through compassion, peace, love and joy. She was named "She Who Blesses the Sacred Land" during the Peace On Earth Tour and embraces that title with loving grace. Teri is also the co-founder of the global movement and non-profit organization Ten Million For World Peace.
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